SEX. NOW. KTHNXBAI.

Before I explain this entry's title, I just wanted to mention that Mike is the best. He caught up with me and Liz at lunch today (oh, and she's a crazy person - she was raving about how good looking he is, and how she wants him so bad, after he left), after he made me promise to see him, even for 5 minutes, before I went to chemistry.
He brought an entire freaking pharmacy.
He gave me 3 different bottles of pills - all different types of vitamins, and a giant 1.5 Liter water bottle (it's bigger than my head!).
He said, "this is doctor Mike's regimen. Stay on it, and you will get well in no time."
I love him, he's so great to me. I don't deserve him.

Later, he walked me to chemistry lab. We sat and talked before I went in to my class. I was asking him about some girl he met at the party friday night, hoping he was getting somewhere with her. Sounded unlikely.
Then I talked a bit about Arkadiy, and this weekend's sexual... plans.
Mike said, "I want to break his face."
And then suggested I have sex with him (Mike) instead of Arkadiy.
I hate to say it, but it is tempting. I would still have sex with Arkadiy, too, but Mike is... well, Mike is hot.
But I can't do that to him, or to our friendship. I must control myself.

***
Holy hell, Arkadiy is such a freakin tease!

He was just going to 'stop by' and see how I was doing tonight.

Yeah, I wouldn't let him leave. He stayed with me in my dorm room for 3 and a half hours (8:15-11:45)!! And he wouldn't let me do anything because my suite mates were right next door. Looking back, I am glad he didn't let anything happen, but goddamn, he just had to play with me, didn't he?

He would barely touch me, except to tousle my hair or brush his hand against my cheek - but no sexual touches at all!

And then... out of nowhere - I was just lying down, and he was sitting next to me.
He leaned over, pulled the top of my pants down just a few inches, and left a hickey just above my hip bone. It was one of the sexiest things I had ever experienced.

GAH!!!

***
and then I made a big mistake.
Later on, we were just kissing, and he pulled away for a moment and said, jokingly, "I am just a fuck toy to you, aren't I?"
And I said, "...sometimes?"
I was half-joking.
Apparently I could not have said anything worse.
He was so upset. I apologized profusely.
Then I said, "Hey, you only met me less than 2 weeks ago. You don't know me that well. It must be a similar situation for you, too."
And he said, "I know you well enough for that to hurt. A lot."
So I apologized and said, "Oh Arkadiy. I care about you. A lot. I never want to hurt you. I'm so sorry, honey."

He seemed to get over it for the time being, but then, after he left, we were texting, and he brought it up again.
I am a terrible person.