He is the Song of my universe.

I am reading a book about ancient Vedic philosophy and culture, and it was explaining the idea of "Brahman" as an idea for the explanation of the universe.

Brahman is, according to the author, "...the underlying reality and root cause of all that is. ...the ultimate root of existence from which the entire universe "grows" and continues to exist.

The author explained that Vedics saw the Brahman as having two aspects - a passive, indefinable nirguna Brahman, and an active, dynamic saguna Brahman.

The author used an analogy to help illustrate the vital difference between the two aspects, and their essential unity:

"Imagine yourself lying peacefully in some serene place, perhaps a quiet, grassy spot on a warm summer day. Your eyes are closed and you're not really thinking about much of anything, just enjoying the moment, enjoying your fact of existence. Suddenly and spontaneously you break out in song. After a while the song dies out, and you drift back into simply enjoying the moment."

The quiet, passive you is like nirguna Brahman, and the song is like saguna Brahman. You and the song are the same entity, for the song came from your mouth, your heart, your soul. So these two aspects are of one entity. Thus is Brahman explained.

***

Anyway, my whole point is just this:
Brahman is the song of the universe.

And when I read about it, all I could think was,
Matt is the song of my universe.

anyway, I texted Matt around 11, saying, "If you want to finish this [in reference to our fight], get your ass on skype asap. I won't wait up for you. Not tonight."

He immediately texted me back, saying, "I'll be on in a few"

And almost the first thing he said on skype was, "I'm sorry"

We talked for hours. It's 2:53AM right now, and we just stopped talking.
I am overjoyed and relieved and so happy.


some notable excerpts:

[1:53:30 AM] Zachariah: i love you so much
[1:53:33 AM] Matthew Michael: I love you too
[1:53:39 AM] Matthew Michael: I need to touch you
[1:53:41 AM] Matthew Michael: No joke
[1:53:49 AM] Matthew Michael: This is going to happen
[1:53:52 AM] Matthew Michael: It will
[1:53:59 AM] Zachariah: i trust you
[1:54:39 AM] Matthew Michael: Damn right
[1:54:42 AM] Zachariah: what would you do if we could be alone together for only one hour
[1:54:50 AM] Zachariah: and then not see each other again for a year?
[1:55:12 AM] Matthew Michael: I would do everything I could imagine
[1:55:16 AM] Matthew Michael: Plus more
[1:55:20 AM] Zachariah: no you have to elaborate
[1:55:23 AM] Matthew Michael: Well
[1:55:28 AM] Matthew Michael: I would pull you close...
[1:55:30 AM] Matthew Michael: And kiss you hard



***

[2:04:34 AM] Zachariah: if you kiss me well, i will still bite you.
[2:04:37 AM] Zachariah: but in a good way
[2:04:48 AM] Matthew Michael: Rawr
[2:04:54 AM] Matthew Michael: It's on
[2:04:57 AM] Zachariah: *not joking*
[2:05:03 AM] Matthew Michael: Neither am I
[2:05:09 AM] Zachariah: i want you so bad
[2:05:54 AM] Matthew Michael: I want you too
[2:06:27 AM] Zachariah: i just don't want you to be disappointed.
[2:07:05 AM] Matthew Michael: I won't be
[2:07:08 AM] Matthew Michael: Don't worry

***

I love him. And when I told him that the fighting and anger come with the package, and that if he can't handle that or doesn't want to put up with it, he should just walk away now...
...he looked at me, cracked a smile, and said, "You're not getting rid of me that easily. I am too involved with you to walk away from this now."

***
I felt like I would burst with happiness when he said that.

All is well in my mind... except I haven't done any of my homework.
Oh well. Matt is still in my life. Homework is salvageable. Losing him is not.

Goodnight.
I need to sleep now so I can get up early and get some of my homework done before my classes.