Jump.

Last night, I was planning on staying in and just reading and playing TF2 all night.

Then mike PM'd me (steam), and asked if I wanted to go for a walk.

So we went for a walk. I thought I would just go to be nice, because I hurt him yesterday, pretty badly, apparently.
Bu we ended up walking around from 11 to 4. We talked for 5 hours.
It was great. We broke into an abandoned, fenced-in area around the train tracks sort of near Temple.

We went to a playground that was very dirty and broken, and we just talked. It was interesting, because I haven't been able to just talk with someone like that since I left home.
It was nice.
He even gave me input on Matt, even though he was jealous, he said.

*The only reason he knows about Matt is because I felt so bad about friend-zoning him. So I explained that, first of all, I never expected anyone in college to want a relationship. Secondly, I am so emotionally invested in a guy who is currently attending school more than 1000 miles away, that I could never fall for someone here. I can have fun, physically, but I can't become emotionally attached - even if I wanted to.*

So Mike asked me about him. He wanted to know what it was that made me love him so much.
I probably said more than I should have. I just got so wrapped up. I must have hurt Mike again. However, instead of getting angry, he just asked what I was going to do about Matt. I told him about my plans to go meet him. I asked if he thought it was a good idea, because my best friend, Thom, still wants me to just forget about him. Mike said, it sounds like you really care about him, and the only way you will ever know for sure if it's worth it is by going there, and taking the risk.

Mike's such a great guy.
He said he will be over the whole "friend-zoned" thing in a few days. And he is gone for the weekend to go to the Electric Zoo in new york.
So I am hoping that, by the time he gets back -Sunday night- we can be cool again.

Anyway, it felt good to talk to someone who didn't immediately shoot down my feelings and plans. I know, I know, humans only ask for advice because they want a reinforcement of what they've already decided, not because they actually want another's opinion. But I try to take into account all advice. When my mother and sister told me not to go, I listened to their reasons. And some of the reasons, I agree with. But not enough to stop me from going.
When Thom says not to go, I listen. But it's never been enough to stop me.
And now Mike is saying, "Jump in with everything you've got. Put it all on the line, if he's worth it to you."