Lake Compounce.

Well, today was eventful!
Went with my family to Lake Compounce (a water park in New England).
It was very tiring: watching an infant, a toddler, and two elementary-school aged kids - all boys!
My cousins are the best, though.
My brother is a lifeguard for the park and we went to visit him and to have a day trip together. I love kids, so today was really great.



It was also nice to get to spend some time with my sister, I've missed her most of this summer.
She's 20 years old and has spent the past few months in North Carolina, staying with her boyfriend (he's a marine who was stationed down there), but he was just recently shipped out to Iraq, so she is home now. Just in time for me to leave for college.

It's nice to have her, because we relate to each other so well in the "guy" department. Her boyfriend is far away, and until recently, she was there with him. The guy I want to be with is far away too. So we talk a lot about that.

She shares my concerns that Matt might not care for me as much as I care about him. That doesn't help my uneasiness. Even writing in such excess about him in a blog makes me feel like a crazy person. But I can't help it, I think about him constantly, and he is bound to appear several times in every entry in this blog.

So, my sister and I were meandering around the park, and we got to talking about our boys. I said that I noticed so many couples around us, and I wished so badly to do things like this with Matt. Just everyday "couple" things. Just to hold his hand. My sister said she completely understood - except she had gotten to do that stuff with Derrik, but now that he was gone, she would be missing out on it for the next 8 months or more.

This is difficult and painful. I miss him all the time. I am happiest when I am talking to him, but I would be so much happier if I could hold him, and be held by him. It's unfair that life can throw me a good guy for a change, but place him 1200 miles away.

Oh well, life has never been fair, I suppose.

***

No news on the weekend endeavor yet. I still haven't gotten a chance to speak with Matt.