First, I got up fairly early, for me - 10:30 - and went shopping for last minute stuff for college. Then, I went to my friend Chrissie to get my haircut (she is a professional, but she does little jobs on the side.). Well, she noticed that I dyed my hair a couple of months ago - the roots are now about 2 inches long. She offered to use temporary (6 weeks) dye to help the roots and tips match a little better. So I got my hair cut quite a bit shorter than it has been in a while, and now it is also darker than it has been in months. It feels good to be a little bit different.
Also, during my haircut, the skies grew very dark, and a nasty storm approached. It broke quite loudly over my house just as I was getting home. Some pics:
The sky darkening over my house.
My parents, Lucas, and Thom chilling on the porch, watching the storm.
***
Well, in the middle of the downpour, I noticed my best friend (who moved away 4 years ago) was back in town and across the street picking up some of her belongings from her mother's house!
Of course I ran over there and we talked for a long time and then she came back and we looked through my yearbook, talking about people we both grew up with, and how much they had changed since she had seen them.
It was great, but she had to leave after about an hour. I was so happy to see her, though. It was the first time I had seen her since I helped her run away to her father's house the summer after 9th grade.
***
Well, after that I played some Soul Caliber 4 with my brother and Thom. My brother is really good at it, but I beat Thom almost every time. It was a lot of fun :)
When we all sat down to eat dinner together - yes, my family still does that - I got a text from the most unlikely person. Tyler. My ex from a year and a half ago. He wanted to see me, to talk to me. I had a sneaking suspicion it was about his girlfriend.
*Sidenote - there is a "Country Fair" in my town every year around this time - Tonight was the first night, it goes through the weekend*
He wanted me to meet up with him at the fair tonight, but I had promised Cherie I would go to her sleepover, at least for a little while. So I suggested we hang out on Sunday, the closing night of the fair. (All I could think about after suggesting this was how odd it would be, how Deja Vu, to be spending the closing night of the fair with him, when two years earlier we had done the same thing as boyfriend/girlfriend). He agreed to hang out Sunday, and that was that.
***
After that, I went up to Cherie's (my best friend since 3rd grade) house (she was having a small sleepover with a couple of friends). We hung out, and watched some creepy expose about female bodybuilders - ew.
Pictures at Cherie's House:
Well, it was fun, but I got bored, and then Tyler texted me again. He wanted to see me tonight. He asked when I would be home from Cherie's. So we planned it, I went home from Cherie's around 11:10, and he picked me up from my house around 11:15.
We drove around, and eventually I had him take us to Wakelee - a local elementary school - because it was a good place to just chill... I love the playground there (go ahead, laugh. At least I have stayed in touch with my inner child!). We hung out on the playscape and talked. He had broken up with Elana, the girl he had been with since he and I had broken up. They had to have been dating at least a year.
He said he was just sick of her overprotectiveness and jealousy and suspicion. That girl had him on such a short leash. I only wish he could have seen it sooner.
But I reassured him that, if he really was done with the relationship, then it was the right decision to end it.
It was nice talking to him. We reminisced about the good ol' days when we were a couple. We joked and played like nothing had ever changed. It was very... Deja Vu.
A little later, we left Wakelee and drove around a bit more, and ended up at the playground right up the street from my house (I know, I have a thing for playgrounds - but where else could we go?). This is when it got... interesting.
I had been itching to kiss him all night - hell, I have been wanting to kiss him since we broke up, just to see how it would feel. So I asked him, "Can I try something?"
He seemed suspicious, but consented. I leaned in like I used to when we dated....I smirked coyly at him... and then I kissed him. Well, no. At first, I kissed him... then it was both of us kissing each other. He pulled me in slowly, tenderly. Then he held me tighter and tighter... his lips brushed against my cheek, then my neck. It was just like old times, except better - it was like we were beginning again. It was incredible.
I realized that I was glad I did it. And then I pulled back and we started talking again. Then he lightly reached for my hand and said, "Come back"
So I did.
His hands were so strong, but so tenderly feeling their way over my body. I missed his touch, I missed the romance ...and the lust.
Soon, however, I realized that it could very quickly escalate to something I knew we shouldn't do.
So I suggested he take me home and we went back to his car. He seemed very reluctant, and asked me for one last kiss in front of my house before he left. I couldn't deny him. I wanted it too.
Pictures From Tonight:
***
But later I realized... this wasn't the same. I don't love him anymore.
I lust for him, sure.
But I don't love him. My heart currently belongs to someone else.
Matt.
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